Labor Day weekend… Summer is coming to an end and you’re unsure how to feel about it.  Of course you love Summer time, but Fall is right around the corner!  Let’s leave Summer behind with a bang!  A lot of us have a 3-day weekend, and what better way to spend it than with a Retro Movie Marathon!  Horror and Chill doesn’t have to just be a single movie affair.  No no, friends, we can watch movies all day and all night.  That’s right, I’m going to give you 3 movies from each of our regular sources!  But wait…there’s more!  We’re even going to take a little break from the modern to revisit some classic horror.  Get on the landline, call up some sweet thang you’ve got your eye on, and tell them to put on their movie watchin’ shoes…cuz its time for the Modern Horrors HORROR AND CHILL LABOR DAY WEEKEND RETRO MOVIE MADNESS!!!

Shudder

What to watch?

Our first film from SHUDDER is going to be THE EXORCIST III.  Not a terrible sequel like the second one, the third EXORCIST film is kind of bad ass.  Though it has aged a bit, the scares will still haunt you.  Start the night here and then move on to…

FRIGHT NIGHT!  What would a retro movie madness marathon be without a bit of 80s vampire action?  FRIGHT NIGHT was meta before meta was meta, and it is sure to impress your date.  Get ready to keep going after this one, its the center of a terror sandwich that finishes with…

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD!  Pay homage to our fallen legend, George Romero, and watch the original zombie movie.  This movie was way ahead of it’s time and never gets old.  This will be one hell of a way to end your marathon… plus, black and white films make you look sophisticated.  This is horror AND chill remember?

What to drink?

The summer is ending, you’re going head first into a retro movie madness marathon, and you’ve got the love of your life(or day) next to you.  You have to pace yourself, make sure you get through all your movies.  You need to go out and get yourself a case of Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy.  Not only is it delicious, but shandies are low in alcohol, so you can drink them all day long.  Don’t forget to sip some water now and then too.

Amazon Prime

What to watch?

I would like you to imagine you’re stuck in a mall.  You’re stuck in a mall with 7 of your friends… and killer robots!  CHOPPING MALL is where we are going to start our journey!  You may want to ease your date into this fear marathon, and what better way than with an 80’s classic that will make you bust out the leg warmers and hair spray.  Just don’t get too scared because we’ve also got…

THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE!  Horror icon Tobe Hooper passed away this past week and we all owe him a debt of gratitude.  I think he’d be proud to be the second movie in a horror marathon, having his masterpiece be watched by people who are no doubt drunk right now and probably groping each other.  Ahh… young love….

Speaking of love, you’re going to love ending your film fest with ROSEMARY’S BABY!  The soundtrack is haunting, the atmosphere surrounds you and draws you in, and the visuals are simple yet stunning.  It is almost a shame that you’re going to be totally blitzed by this point, because it really is a horror classic.  Try to look up now and then, you won’t regret it.

What to drink?

Summer time always makes me want to drink rum, and staying up all night watching movies always makes me want to drink soda.  Why don’t we combine them both into a CUBA LIBRE!  A Cube Libre is what hipsters call a Rum and Coke.  However, the drink was enormously popular in the 1970s, so it fits our retro movie madness marathon perfectly!  The recipe is really very simple, but I’ll give you one just in case.  Fair warning, the recipe will instruct you on how to make a drink the way I make drinks.

Netflix

What to watch?

Go hard or go home… we’re starting off with HELLRAISER.  Show your date you mean business by presenting them with one of the definitive horror classics.  Pinhead is sure to get some reaction, possibly giving you an in to use the arm over shoulder technique I taught you last week.  But, why just watch this movie when NETFLIX also has…

THE OMEN with Gregory Peck!  Creepy kids are terrifying… and you’re looking to horror and chill, not start a family, right?  This movie spawned an entire franchise, and really holds up well over the years.  It’s all for you, Damien…. even our next movie.

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET will have you and your paramour staying up all night.  What, oh what, could you do to stay awake… watch more movies of course!  If one dose of Freddy isn’t enough, check out WES CRAVEN’S NEW NIGHTMARE right after!

What to drink?

If you’re watching a movie with Gregory Peck, you need to be at least a little classy.  But, it’s also summer, so you need a cool refreshing drink as well.  You’re going to need a good Gin and Tonic!  Everyone has their own favorite gin.  I am a BEEFEATER man myself, but some love HENDRICKS or SEAGRAMS.  Pick up a bottle of gin and some tonic water.  Add some of each to a glass of ice with a lime wedge and voila!  You’re classy and ready to watch Gregory Peck battle the forces of evil and Freddy Krueger slice and dice high schoolers!

Hulu

What to watch?

FLATLINERS is a who’s who of 1990 young Hollywood.  It also has a remake coming out soon… for some reason… But enough about my thoughts on a remake, this is a really cool movie.  Though it teeters on the border of a thriller, it definitely is a great way to start your retro movie madness marathon.  A great way to continue it is with…

IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS!  A Lovecraftian nightmare, this movie will send shivers down your spine.  If you don’t know about Sutter Kane, it is time you learned!  With a film this great in the middle, the finale better be damn good (it is).

Who wants to be a member of THE MONSTER SQUAD?!  So, this movie really isn’t going to scare you, but this is a retro movie madness marathon!  Nothing screams retro and nostalgia more than this amazing film.  Plus, by this time you’re going to be at least buzzed, so you’ll have tons of fun, and so will your snuggle buddy.

What to drink?

Did you know that they have no-shit brought ZIMA back for a limited time?  Did you also know that you can go to the ZIMA website and put in your zipcode to find out where to buy it?  Were you aware that I’m going to tell you to go out and buy as much of it as you can because you’ll be drinking it during your HORROR AND CHILL RETRO MOVIE MADNESS MARATHON?  Well, now you know.  Enjoy your nostalgia trip… you’re welcome.

VOD and Blu-Ray

What to watch?

Wow… that picture sure is random… Random…random…RAndoM.  I’ve got it!  If you choose to go down this route for your HORROR AND CHILL RETRO MOVIE MADNESS MARATHON, you’re going to select your movies at random!  Have a collection of your own?   Go over and pull out 5 random cases (close your eyes you cheater).  Don’t have a movie collection yet?  Head over to your local Bestest Buy, Wally World, Targets or what have you, find the $5 bin and grab 5 horror movies.  Are you a VOD kind of person?  Go into the Horror section and randomly click to get your 5 movies.  If you’ve already got your loved one with you, why not make this a team sport?  Pro tip: blindfolds.

There is one required movie… John Carpenter’s THE THING must be watched at some point during your day.  I’ve got to be firm on this, there is no room for discussion or failure.  THE THING must be watched.

What to drink?

We’re going to keep up with the randomness for your drink as well.  Go into your local liquor store, beer store, whatever you may have.  Go up to the cashier and ask them what their favorite drink is.  Buy it, drink it, enjoy what fate has brought to you.  For this marathon and this marathon only, let a stranger behind a counter control your destiny.  Drink responsibly.

This special edition of MODERN HORROR’S HORROR AND CHILL has come to an end.  I hope you all have a great holiday weekend, a great retro movie madness marathon, and some high quality making out.  Make sure you let us know on Twitter and Facebook that you’ve been up to some #HorrorAndChill!  Seeya next weekend for more movies, more drinks, and more good times!