Stranger
​ The Stranger is one of those films that you heard about for quite a while if you stay informed on the festival happenings in the horror scene. It picked up some awards here and there, and by the time it got a US release date–I was expecting a home run. Unfortunately, The Stranger is no home run. It’s more like hitting a double, but you’re too slow to get to second base–so you stay at first. It swung the bat and connected enough to get somewhere. . . but it’s certainly not going to impress anyone. It’s probably best to avoid this one altogether.

Plot Synopsis: A supernatural thriller, laced by flashbacks, and set in Canada’s North-West, “The Stranger” turns on the mysterious titular figure of Martin, who comes to a small quiet town seeking to kill his wife Ana who suffers from a very dangerous decease that makes her addicted to human blood – just like himself-. However, when he arrives to the town, he discovers that Ana has been dead for a couple of years and decides to commit suicide to definitely eradicate this dangerous decease, but, before he can do it, Martin’s brutally attacked by three local thugs led by Caleb, the son of a corrupt police lieutenant, and the incident suddenly starts a snowball that will plunge the community into a bloodbath.

BuryingThere may have been even MORE hype behind Joe Dante’s (Gremlins) return to the horror genre. Although it features zombies in a cheesy and romantic setting, I was willing to give it a shot based on who it was coming from–I wish I hadn’t. It’s sort of like a bubblegum cookie-cutter version of NINA FOREVER, but not nearly as good. If the word ZomCom sounds appealing, then you’re the type of person this movie was made for. All self respecting members of the horror community should stay far, far away.

Plot Synopsis: It seemed like a great idea when all-around nice guy Max and his beautiful girlfriend, Evelyn moved in together. But when Evelyn turns out to be a controlling, manipulative nightmare, Max knows it’s time to call it quits. There’s just one problem: he’s terrified of breaking up with her. Fate steps in when Evelyn is the victim of a fatal, freak accident, leaving Max single and ready to mingle. Just as Max is thinking about moving on with what could be his dream girl, Olivia – Evelyn has returned from the grave and is determined to get her boyfriend back…even if that means transforming him into one of the undead.

revelations
​ After a six year hiatus, the Hellraiser franchise returned in 2011. Unfortunately, it returned with an entry that was obviously rushed into production. Revelations is a microbudget production that borrows elements from the Found Footage sub genre that everyone is crazy for. It is practically spiritless and features some strange portly fellow taking on the role of Pinhead. Revelations is a miss on every level. Move along.

Plot Synopsis: Two friends in Mexico discover the Lament Configuration and unleash Pinhead, but one decides to try to survive by swapping himself with someone else. Once they go missing, family members go in search of them, but find Pinhead instead.

Snowtown
I’m all for a dramatic slow burn, but Snowtown is simply boring. Sure, it’s well shot and features some pretty strong performances, but you have to DO something at some point if you hope to cross the line into successful genre cinema. Snowtown was not for me, and I have to image you’d feel the same way if you take the time.

Plot Synopsis: Based on true events, 16 year-old Jamie falls in with his mother’s new boyfriend and his crowd of self-appointed neighborhood watchmen, a relationship that leads to a spree of torture and murder.

Hayride
I know what you’re thinking. Hayride 2 quite obviously belongs on this list. You’d probably guess as much before even watching the film. But somewhere during the trailer–I became interested. Shame on me. What appears to be a fun and brainless slasher that takes place in a hospital. . . is actually a non-fun and brainless slasher that takes place in a hospital. That fun factor makes a huge difference, and Hayride 2 takes itself waaaay too seriously to respect it even a little.

Plot Synopsis: The end of one journey only marks the beginning of another as Detective Loomis returns to uncover the truth behind the Legend of Pitchfork.