First things first, it very much is what it is. This is Wrong Turn 6. Let that number sink in for a minute. It very much looks like it had the budget of the sixth installment of any series not filmed in a galaxy far far away or at Hogwarts. That being said, it is one hell of a good time.

It opens with the first of many inbred, Olympic caliber archers staring in shock at how slutty this girl is. Yes, she’s the random death at the beginning of almost every slasher movie, but it takes a real floozy to wear a lace thong on a mountain bike ride just to surprise your boyfriend. She, however, is not the focal point in this scene. The real stars of this movie are these hillbillies that literally look like they bought the last oversized Halloween mask at Wal-Mart on October 30th. They look absolutely ridiculous, but when the Oak Ridge Boys go to work it’s a sight to behold. This opening kill had me standing on the couch in ecstasy. Granted, it was probably mostly due to my below sea level expectations, but it was exceedingly brutal and not a really death I’d seen a thousand times.

It does, however, lose some steam when you actually get into the “story.” The actors are green and not very likeable, but this is Wrong Turn…six. Get over it. Once the film falls back into its stride of people getting positively ruined it really shines and doesn’t hold back. It literally turns into an inbred, blood-drinking, ritualistic sex party at one point. By the end of the second act I feel like I’ve taken everything this movie has to offer me.  The amount of wrong in that assumption is unprecedented. I won’t go into detail because you need to go through the same thought process I did. You will think “…surely not. Surely they aren’t about to…oh, ok. Thank God. Wait….maybe they are….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.” You see it coming from a mile away and it is still beautiful and completely amazing and it finally culminates in the most original kill I’ve seen in months. You know exactly what’s going to happen, but you still can’t believe it.

 

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