Muck is a film that has made rather grandiose statements of itself over the last several months. Being a slasher fan, I bought right into what they were selling. Kane Hodder, Playmates, gore, violence, and statements such as “Your heart beats until its thumps drown out your screams. Twisted metal scrapes and rips your skin, the force of which will whip you around like a rag doll.” I mean… holy shit, right? Not really.
The film starts seemingly in the middle of another scene. As of now, you don’t know these people…nor will you know them any better by the time the credits roll. You see, Muck is actually the 2nd film in a trilogy. The 1st and 3rd installments have yet to make it in front of a camera. This is important information to keep in mind, because they do not allude to this ANYWHERE. Had I been a person who simply purchased the film without following the production…i’d be pissed…really pissed. Simply put – you don’t get a beginning, and you absolutely do not get an ending.This is incredibly frustrating, but let’s move on.
When your cast is made up of girls that you can shamelessly undress and spend minutes zooming in on their nipples and panning around their asses…there are bound to be some compromises when it comes to acting pedigree. Don’t get it twisted – I’m not expecting Oscar worthy shit here, but a little conviction would be nice. This is a harsh statement, but these girls do one thing well, and that’s get naked. It is 100% the only reason they are here. Not to build a character or to flesh out a story..but to be naked. That’s it, and if this was Cinemax and I was 13 – I’d be pretty goddamn pleased about what I’m seeing. But I’m not. I want a movie. I want what was promised to me.
It’s not all bad though, there is a trio of genuinely charming characters that form. They are still painfully stupid and refuse to follow any form of human logic, but are entertaining to nonetheless. Unfortunately, after a couple of action sequences that I can easily categorize as “bad ass”, the movie simply stops. That’s it. Just as things were getting good. This is not an accident. When I first heard that Muck was part 2 of a trilogy, I didn’t put much stock in it. We see things like this all the time. Malevolence came out before Bereavement, and Bereavement occurs first in the timeline. Or how about Star Wars for Christ’s sake? This kind of thing is somewhat uncommon, but it can be done well. That is NOT what Muck is trying to do. Muck feels like a collection of scenes thrown together to show what “could be” done with enough time and money. I can already see them ramping up the crowdfunding campaigns. “Don’t you want to see how it ends?” Or how it begins for that matter. This feels like a cash grab.
In the end, Muck is a disappointing “proof of concept” or sorts. There isn’t much violence..nothing is explained…and when things do start to get going..they cut you off. Who knows, maybe the other installments will tie it all together, but I don’t appreciate the ruse. We were sold short on this one folks, way short.
Are You Mucking Kidding Me?
All of the T and A in the world can’t make up for a lack of story and engagement. Muck falls flat in almost every single way imaginable….there are some cool shots from time to time though.