Horror on Netflix you didn’t know you should be watching
I’ll be the first to admit that this movie doesn’t hold up to its brutal opening. Hell, few things could. A pregnant woman being assaulted typically isn’t…uproarious; and if you’ve ever been on twitter, you know that Netflix’s main clientele are white girls without boyfriends that are most likely baby crazy. This is probably conducive to the film’s 2 star rating. There’s something special about this particular scene though. The sound editor on Proxy deserves an Oscar. He made brick on flesh sound so minimal and unlike anything I ever thought it would sound like. Think that 100 year-old guy Anna Nicole Smith married dropping his balls on her forehead from about 4 inches; that real subtle thud. Combine that with the realistic visuals of the ensuing hospital scene these first ten minutes alone are worth the watch.
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
With all the dolls, demonic fetuses, and super pissed off mirrors that are running amok today, sometimes you need a good old fashioned human being actually killing people, especially teenaged people. Not to mention, it features Amber Heard as the untouchable girl who inevitably doesn’t know how hot she is. Pristine Amber Heard, before the disappointing leaked nudes. It even lulls you into a false sense of “I know what’s going to happen” before a pretty solid twist ending.
This is a real movie. It should be sitting at the top of every Netflix page where The Office and The goddamned Walking Dead always are. I can’t be too whimsical or funny about this one. It won’t allow me to. I watched this almost 3 months ago and it has stayed with me. It digs into your mind and makes you feel the type of anxious dread that makes you really want to just go sit with your mom for a while. It documents a film crew who goes to investigate a mysterious religious compound led by a figure known only as “Father.” Maybe it’s the fact that I was forced to go to church camp as a kid and I honestly feel like they filmed it on location at Short Mountain Bible Camp where I was held prisoner for 5 days in the summer of 2003, but something about this movie fucked me up. It’s chilling, subtle pace is perfect in the way it gives you a real emotional reaction when things start to get real. One scene in particular affected me significantly. It is truly disturbing, and rather than just having a money-shot, you see every perfectly-acted second of it. I don’t want to give anything away because I think this scene is truly an achievement of cinema, but you’ll know it when you see it. You will be holding your own visibly-shaken face looking around the room for someone you love.