The cheesy films of yesteryear often hold a special place in the hearts of horror fans. It’s not uncommon for modern filmmakers to utilize these techniques and methods to add a pinch of nostalgia to their projects. It’s a fun way to pay homage to the genre’s roots, but more often than not, it feels like a cheap imitation. You can’t capture lightening in a bottle….or can you? Call Girl of Cthulhu is the bloody, gory, ooey-gooey, raunchy horror gem that most filmmakers can only dream of creating. It’s an absolute blast.

The film follows a virginal artist named Carter as he falls for a call girl that frequents his apartment building. Her name is Riley, and she has a rather unusual birthmark right above her rump. In fact, an evil demon summoner and his pacifier sucking flunkies are murdering and transforming hookers all over town in hopes of locating Riley and her Lovecraftian branded bootie. Only then can Cthulhu cross over into our realm. Don’t worry though, a one-eyed professor and her band of devil slayers are out to ensure that this doesn’t happen. There’s a lot going on, but things somehow stay focused and on task. Supporting characters like Rick “The Dick” Pickman and Carter’s promiscuous organ-playing roommate, Erica, add a goofy sort of balance and secondary love interest to the mix as well.

Acting is about like you’d expect when dealing with a film titled Call Girl of Cthulhu. There’s certainly a level of cheese to things, but nothing that detracts from the viewing experience or gives you the impression that you’re watching some sort of low-grade product. Even if in reality…you kind of are. Almost everyone involved turns in charming and capable performances. As alluded to previously, this is a sloppy, wet, nasty, and sexual film. That combination of adjectives can lead to some rather interesting scenarios, and cowriter/director Chris Lamartina is sure to capitalize on each and every one of them. Seriously though, shit gets wild. Practical effects highlight countless head explosions, tongue cuttings, tentacle lashings, and cock transformations. After all, what good is a talented effects team if you can’t construct a monstrous hissing penis? I know I wouldn’t want to be involved in any such project.

Call Girl of Cthulhu is not be taken seriously. That should be self explanatory, but you never know. The film proudly waves the flag of a simpler time in horror cinema. When killer effects, whacky storylines, naked women, and shock value ruled the industry. It is a terrific success at practically everything it sets out to accomplish, and you should absolutely add it to you DVD or Blu-Ray collection this fall.